dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He felt like a one man threesome
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
