Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
