kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
