things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
