her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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