I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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