its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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