fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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