Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
