Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
