I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
