I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize