I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
