When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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