I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
