she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
