nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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