He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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