in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
