Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
