I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
