no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
