Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
