3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
