I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
