We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
