and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
