how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
