like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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