girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
