Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
