I want to have your abortion
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
