How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
