It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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