their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
