Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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