I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize