i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
