I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
