protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
