I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
home. puking in laundry basket.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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