Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
