you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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