I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
