your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
