He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
