I must be too annoying 4 u.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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