i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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