apparently the secret to your success is patron
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
