Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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