covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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