I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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