the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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