i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
