I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize