i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
