So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
