Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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