did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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