I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
