should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
