Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
